A Letter to Matilda

  
Dear Tildy,

You’re almost 5 months baby girl. We made it! Although at times I really questioned if we would. 

When you first arrived baby girl, mummy and daddy didn’t know what to do with you. You cried and cried and when I thought surely you would fall asleep, you cried some more. 

When I look back at photos of you from that time, mummy gets upset. Even when you were sleeping you were grimacing and you never looked content. 

When we first brought you home I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I missed my old life and wondered how we would survive. 

But look at you now baby girl! You grizzle when you need something and that’s pretty much it. 

You’ve learnt to squeal with joy and giggle and smile. 

You bring mummy and daddy so much joy and we are already so proud of you. 

We love watching you learn new things and like every other parent does with their babe, we think you’re pretty cute and very clever. 

It makes mummy so happy seeing you happy and your giggle warms my heart. 

Sometimes I lose patience with you, and I’m sorry for that baby girl. Mummy is tired, she forgets that you are just a baby and are moving to the beat of your own drum.  

Never lose that sparkle Tildy. 

Chase your dreams and dream BIG! Find something you love and run with it. For me, it’s writing and exercise. People might make fun of you (trust me – I still get it!) but give them one of your big smiles and move on by, baby girl. 

Maybe you’ll follow in your daddy’s footsteps and be good at every sport you try, or maybe you won’t. That’s ok! I do hope you get his patience and kindness though!

Maybe you’ll love books and being indoors, again, maybe you won’t and that’s ok too! 

I have no idea what will light that fire but I’m excited to watch it burn bright.

I’m sorry I wished away your first 3 months baby girl, but I’m so glad we made it out the other side. 

You and your daddy are my best friends.

We love you to the moon and back!

Love, 

Mummy! 

  

Training with Tildy. 

 

Family stretch time
 
**I use the term training loosely!

I’ve just started getting back into semi-regular training with Matilda in tow. 

It’s slow going that’s for sure. But I’m enjoying it much more than I thought I would!

I’ve got my sights set on the Mudgee Half Marathon in August and maybe one other run prior to this if I can get my shit together! 

I don’t think Tildy will be joining me on the run – I think 2 hours in the pram would see her screaming like a banshee! 

It might make be pick up the pace a little though…!

 

We made it to 5km!
 
I remember when we were looking at prams I said to Nate let’s get a running pram even though I know I’ll try once and probably hate it. 

I imagined it to be like running with a backpack or something else just as awkward and annoying. 

Well, we reached 5.5km last week so it can’t be THAT bad!

It feels good to be slowly getting back into the swing of things. Matilda’s feeding is still pretty awful and her sleeping was shocking but it’s just started to improve, so it’s important that I have a release.

Pre-Tildy I would have scoffed at running anything less than 5km on a BAD day and was regularly disappointed in my pace. These days I’m stoked to get over 4km and pace is more out of curiosity than any sort of gauge…

It’s refreshing to have this perspective on training. I’m much more grateful just being able to get out of the house. It’s no longer feeling like I HAVE to exercise – I WANT to!

I have also realised how important it is for me to get out and about with Matilda. Having started training again, feels like I have a piece of my pre-Tildy self back and it feels nice. Anyone who has kids can tell you that your whole world is turned upside down when you have a baby, and it’s nice to start piecing together a new, modified version of myself!

I’ve also come to realise that by taking better care of me, I can take better care of Matilda. 

Since we’ve started running again, I’m finding myself eating a bit better, actually feeling like I have more energy and just a more positive outlook which are all super important. 

I know Matilda is too little to remember these days, but I like to think I am setting a good example for her and laying the foundations for her love of sport and exercise. 

I think the next addition will be a bike with a seat for Tildy! 

xx

Brickie 

Vegan Chocolate Cake with Tahini Cacao Icing. 

  
Mmmmm cake. 

My diet has been less than perfect lately, but when you’re running on broken sleep and now have a fiancé with a broken wing – you deserve cake. 

Can I just say, massive respect to single parents. 

Nate has a suspected broken scaphoid bone in his wrist that apparently doesn’t show up until about a week later so he’s in a cast until further X-rays confirm what’s going on. 

Matilda has decided that this is the perfect time to be a pork chop at night times. The first night after Nates accident at soccer she woke up every 2 hours and screamed and had to be rocked back to sleep. 

While I know how bad Nate feels and I know it was an accident – I’ve warned him at night time I’m probably going to want to kill him until he gets the all clear. 

So Nate can’t even pick her up and it’s really hard! But if I put it into perspective, he’s still managing to help out even with one arm. He’s still there to bring me nappies, water, coffee and just listen to me whinge! I can’t even begin to imagine how much harder it would be if he wasn’t around. 

Single parents, I salute you! 

This recipe was adapted from a recipe shared in my colic support group for all the mummas going dairy free. 

I read that this called the depression cake back in the day as the recipe came out in the depression era when butter, eggs and milk were hard to come by! 

The bits and pieces 

1 1/2 C wholemeal SR flour

3 Tbsp cocoa powder 

1 C raw sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp white vinegar 

7 Tbsp vegetable oil

1 C water

Tahini Cacao Icing

3 Tbsp hulled tahini

2 Tbsp maple syrup 

2 Tbsp cacao powder

1-2 Tbsp boiling water 
Preheat oven to 180 C. 

Grease a round cake tin. 

In a bowl add dry ingredients. Mix well. 

Make 3 wells in the mixture. In the first well, add the vanilla. 

In the second, add the oil. 

In the third, add the vinegar. 

Pour water over mixture and stir to combine. 

Pour into prepared cake tin and bake for 25 minutes. 

For the icing, combine all ingredients in bowl and mix well. 

Once cake is cooked, ice and add some raspberries or strawberries. 

Enjoy!

Brickie

Xx